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fuocogo:

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

i tried whatever that was and it worked just fine 10/10


throbinhood:

my most prized possession is a holographic image of jesus that i have

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where he blinks when you move him

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and if you angle it right he’ll wink

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oohhhh jesus you saucy devil you

(via happygobucky)


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thegayteen:

somewhereoverthebarricade:

Before I had tumblr I had no idea there were any sexualities other than heterosexual and homosexual. I never considered gender inequalities still existed.

That doesn’t mean I was purposely trying to discriminate or upset people.

There is a difference between being just ignorant of something and purposefully discriminating.

Give someone a chance to learn and be enlightened before you slam them as rude, horrible people

god bless

(via sassysusanboyle)


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bradley-herondale:

My sister was playing some kind of question game on her Kindle two rooms away and I heard her ask herself in frustration: “Who the heck lives on 221B baker street?! This is impossible!” And I am not exaggerating when I say I slammed my hands into my keyboard and:

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She proceeded to yell back: “THANK YOU, NERD!”

(via bralin)


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im gonna be hot in a few years i swear

(Source: mattressblowoutsale, via saltedvagina)


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toomanyfandomssolittletime:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.

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wAIT WHAT

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mY SKIN IS WHITE???

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I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??

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cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!

(via monster-didnt-get-the-memo)


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thegreatbritishcrumpet:

neganandsara:

"Girl crush" is literally the female version of no homo

My girl crushes are 100% homo

(via giggling-moriarty)


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